Hey folks, welcome to my new blog The Mind of Maria – how exciting! This isn’t my first blogging rodeo, but after some time out of publishing my writing online, I’ve decided to turn a new chapter and get back to what I love doing.
I remember waving goodbye to my first ever (and fairly successful) blog Life and Luxe – and as you can probably guess by the name; it was your typical cookie-cutter fashion blog. At the time it gave me so much joy – I was an 18-year-old living in London, attending the London College of Fashion, so of course I was going to start a fashion blog, right!?
A little ways down the road, I started to feel a sense of dread when it came to posting. I took criticism to heart, I was posting things people wanted to see instead of the things I liked. I was writing about things I didn’t enjoy and earning money for posts that were about fashion brands I really didn’t like. As I educated myself on how wrong and disingenuous this was, I decided to hit the breaks on blogging altogether – at least until I could figure out what I wanted to do.
I turned over a new leaf when I moved up north. I dabbled with blogging here and there, but it just didn’t stick. I was still in the mindset of posting things to please others. I felt a strong sense of pressure to “put stuff out there” (as many content creators do), but then I’d always find myself stuck in that vicious cycle of “I need to post today”. Even now…I catch glimpses of this old mindset.
It wasn’t until some recent breakthroughs I’ve had in therapy that I realised how some of my fears had manifested themselves in other avenues of my life – even the ones that soothed and motivated me. It took me a long time to realise that the fear of posting my content wasn’t the only thing that paralysed me, in fact, most of the time it was an excuse or bi-product of much deeper problems I didn’t know how to face.
I was consistently scared to do something as simple as post on my blog or Instagram due to deeply ingrained imposter syndrome and low self esteem. In therapy, I realised much of this was caused by traumas both big and small, which manifested in my adult life as “not being good enough”. I’d always have the “Why are you even doing this? You’re not fooling anyone!” thoughts ruminate in my head constantly. I still do. But luckily, I’ve been getting pretty good at keeping the demons at bay.
They’re demons I’m fighting every single day, and I hope with my newfound awareness, I can now use this space as a helpful, creative and therapeutic outlet.
I aim to make this blog a resource I wish I had discovered when I was young.
- A place where I can share how to style and source fashion sustainably
- A place where I can share opinions on how we behave in situations that deeply affect us
- A place where I can share inspiration on how to navigate said situations in a healthy way.
Ultimately, I hope this space provides you with the resources to navigate everyday living through conscious fashion choices, wellness, mental health and lifestyle. I aim to make this a beacon of hope to those navigating their inner self, their shadow self and how they relate to the world. I also hope it acts as an insight into the creative outlets that can facilitate a creative and introspective mind.
Let this place be your empowering source of self-development, creativity, self-expression and healing.